I really got to thinking about "The Box." The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear. In my head, at least, it's a challenge to try and sort these thoughts on the keyboard! Regardless, I am going to attempt to and see what transpires.
I remember when my niece and I were talking about busting out of the box that surrounded her. She became quite angry, "It's a box that others put around me. I did not put it up!" I so agree with her, and it does start this way. Even so, it's up to her to think outside, step outside, to tear it down, or to rebuild.
Consider our boxes as a paper mache surround. Each layer represents thoughts, ideas, values, morals, should's, should not's, they are all there. The more often we hear the same value, the more solid it becomes. The layers are a reflection of our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, families, school friends, teachers, media, pretty much everyone that we come into contact with.
So my girl's statement is correct. The mache box becomes part of our hopes, our dreams, our limitations, our fears, our motivation; a part of who we are. There comes a time, and it is different for all of us, when we begin to question the validity and relevance of its makeup. It's the limiting values that we begin to question. Limitations that keep us from experiencing life as we somehow know that we should. Often we see this as it is presents itself as fear.
There are also internal layers, from birth that make up our mache. When we cry, we get fed or changed, when we laugh we get a smile, and so on. However, I am relating to the external in this text. As well, notably, many boundaries are good and necessary. As children, boundaries are put in place to keep us safe and secure. These boundaries are all part of our box. Our parents and family, relatives, for the most part, are huge participants in the making of our box. The more often, as toddlers and children that we hear what is expected of us, the more it becomes reinforced.
I recall, my sister with her first child. My mother wanted to put him in a playpen in the backyard, so that he wouldn't get hurt or each the grass. My sister was adamant about not doing this, "I want him to explore and experience what he can." This required a little more effort on her part (and ours), but the end result was inspiring. Who'd have known what would have happened if he ate grass! Yikes. My apologies, but some limitations are hilarious!
This all goes on in our pre-school years and everything seems hunk-a-dory until we meet the teen years. This is the time when we begin to understand and to explore, to test what we are being told. To test the boundaries of our boxes to see how strong they are. Independence, can't hide it, there's no denying it! No matter what you try and teach, teens are going to do the opposite. That's the rule. This is when they begin to realize that maybe they have a choice. Mostly, I would say, because of the people that they encounter and share their day to day activities and experiences with, but even someone or a situation that you only meet once can reinforce your mache. Teens begin to question because the more people we meet, the more ideas, thoughts, values that are shared and you can bet your bottom dollar that some will vary. If you really think about it, this can be such a confusing time for young people. The more legitimate or valid the boundaries that have been instilled upon them, they are less likely to test the really deep waters. Layers are stripped and new layers are formed with the help of our peers and friends, teachers, coaches, churches. This is the first step at recognizing that we are in a box and we begin to examine each layer with a renewed perspective.
There are many levels and factors that relate to our own individual journey in this regard. It can take one person many years to recognize certain layers or limitations, to see that they can escape and rebuild. It's never too late and it is always liberating, worthwhile and inspiring. Some layers come down quickly, some, again take years to discover, new layers are put up. It is part of the lifelong journey, exploration of self.
Well, this is where I have been taken today. Try to think outside the box. Boxes are all built differently, with intention, kindness, safety fear and all sorts of ideas and knowledge and lessons.
Be Kind and Generous.
I remember when my niece and I were talking about busting out of the box that surrounded her. She became quite angry, "It's a box that others put around me. I did not put it up!" I so agree with her, and it does start this way. Even so, it's up to her to think outside, step outside, to tear it down, or to rebuild.
Consider our boxes as a paper mache surround. Each layer represents thoughts, ideas, values, morals, should's, should not's, they are all there. The more often we hear the same value, the more solid it becomes. The layers are a reflection of our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, families, school friends, teachers, media, pretty much everyone that we come into contact with.So my girl's statement is correct. The mache box becomes part of our hopes, our dreams, our limitations, our fears, our motivation; a part of who we are. There comes a time, and it is different for all of us, when we begin to question the validity and relevance of its makeup. It's the limiting values that we begin to question. Limitations that keep us from experiencing life as we somehow know that we should. Often we see this as it is presents itself as fear.
There are also internal layers, from birth that make up our mache. When we cry, we get fed or changed, when we laugh we get a smile, and so on. However, I am relating to the external in this text. As well, notably, many boundaries are good and necessary. As children, boundaries are put in place to keep us safe and secure. These boundaries are all part of our box. Our parents and family, relatives, for the most part, are huge participants in the making of our box. The more often, as toddlers and children that we hear what is expected of us, the more it becomes reinforced.
I recall, my sister with her first child. My mother wanted to put him in a playpen in the backyard, so that he wouldn't get hurt or each the grass. My sister was adamant about not doing this, "I want him to explore and experience what he can." This required a little more effort on her part (and ours), but the end result was inspiring. Who'd have known what would have happened if he ate grass! Yikes. My apologies, but some limitations are hilarious!
This all goes on in our pre-school years and everything seems hunk-a-dory until we meet the teen years. This is the time when we begin to understand and to explore, to test what we are being told. To test the boundaries of our boxes to see how strong they are. Independence, can't hide it, there's no denying it! No matter what you try and teach, teens are going to do the opposite. That's the rule. This is when they begin to realize that maybe they have a choice. Mostly, I would say, because of the people that they encounter and share their day to day activities and experiences with, but even someone or a situation that you only meet once can reinforce your mache. Teens begin to question because the more people we meet, the more ideas, thoughts, values that are shared and you can bet your bottom dollar that some will vary. If you really think about it, this can be such a confusing time for young people. The more legitimate or valid the boundaries that have been instilled upon them, they are less likely to test the really deep waters. Layers are stripped and new layers are formed with the help of our peers and friends, teachers, coaches, churches. This is the first step at recognizing that we are in a box and we begin to examine each layer with a renewed perspective.
There are many levels and factors that relate to our own individual journey in this regard. It can take one person many years to recognize certain layers or limitations, to see that they can escape and rebuild. It's never too late and it is always liberating, worthwhile and inspiring. Some layers come down quickly, some, again take years to discover, new layers are put up. It is part of the lifelong journey, exploration of self.Well, this is where I have been taken today. Try to think outside the box. Boxes are all built differently, with intention, kindness, safety fear and all sorts of ideas and knowledge and lessons.
Be Kind and Generous.
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