and where do I go from here♡
well, back to there. to look. to see. to feel. to experience.
and I breathe. feeling all that I am meant to feel.
Life will be as it should be. For my Highest Intention & the Greatest Good of my Life's Journey. I will trust and allow for the experience.
I will find the teacher, the student, the message, the lesson♡
the Gift.
Life's greatest next greatest experience will always show itself, when you look through the eyes of L♡ve, Trust, and have Faith♡
Each day I contemplate on the card chosen and what I have written♡ today brought with it a snow storm allowing my thoughts to reflect on my feelings and emotions of the past couple of days♡ a subject that I have had many conversations on a soul level, with many♡
Being Spiritual♡
Stress, Worry, Thoughts of Negativity and the cycle that comes and goes. For me, and after my post the other day, it crept up and into my thoughts, all because I was honest with myself, all the while opening myself up to criticism and the perspective of manipulation. It becomes self punishing.
Being Spiritual, some seem to believe, means that one is not supposed to have an other feelings, thoughts, or emotions, that are not 'wonderful, delightful, filled with love and positivity'. This just isn't true. I live and breathe the same air and thoughts as the next person. I feel just as deeply as anybody. Most times... most times, I can shake off those feelings of sadness, anger, doubt or fear, but there are times when, just like a real human, I can get caught up in them. That's because I am a real human.
And I have been scolded by some. Funny, as I look at it, it isn't unlike a child. You can praise and acknowledge the incredible insight or gifts of a child.. but it still, at times, it can still be overshadowed by one message of criticism.
I am a deeply Spiritual person. I have, honestly, never looked to understand what that truly means... I just know it to be. I know it at my core. It is my essence. It is my vibration. Even as opposed to religious, and for me, it is connected. I remember fully the feeling of my first communion. It was such a humbling and sincere experience for me. It still brings such a calm and sense of peace within me. It enfolds me, it serves me in ways that sometimes I don't even understand.
And there was a 2nd experience. While at camp one summer, I was asked to room with the girls choir. I was simply elated, but never so much as sitting on the rocks, late one night, by the water and singing spiritual songs. I was memorized by the beauty and the gift♡ I still remember the songs that we sang and sing them often when I am alone.
So, for me, today, it's to balance and to understand. That stress & worry are so often warning signs, signs that our body is telling us that something either amiss, or fearful. To look within and to see & feel where this is coming from; the root cause. Perhaps a choice that we made, in the moment or in the past, perhaps went against our better judgment... or maybe we held our breath and took a leap. And we landed in shaky or unsteady ground... THAT'S can often be the sign of past criticism.
And then here, for me, in this moment, was the missing link. Faith. pure and simple. Faith. So often, this is where I cannot seem to shake the feeling, figure out how to find solid ground, pray enough, plead too much, think or sort things out into our favor, no matter what I do.... it has the ability to create more stress, doubt, worry, and fear... as I am 'not be spiritual enough. Then more irrational thoughts, stories, blocking my core.. the purity of my vibration... which has the ability to then affect my interactions and communications with others.
But. Today was different. I simply allowed. Understanding that it is all a part of MY spiritual experience. my journey.
And it really doesn't matter♡ and I don't mean that I do not care about 'them,' because I do. But there it was. It wasn't the situation that needed to change, it was my feelings of self-anger and even perhaps hatred of self, that still taunt me every now and again. Not always. but now nevertheless now and then. And it does NOT make me any less Spiritual♡ Because that's truly was Spirituality is♡ the allowance of me to feel, breathe, be, who I am meant to be. To experience ALL OF IT, fully, wholly and complete. To be present in the experience. Sometimes it may not like the situation or have any, or feel as if we have little control over certain circumstances, but, in the end, we do have control over how we feel about ourselves♡ and nobody, nobody, gets to take that away from you. Ever. I get to FEEL what I am suppose to feel. What I allow myself to feel. All to remind myself that I love and approve of me.
That I love and approve of me. in this moment, now matter what my feelings, emotions, thoughts,
Silly, when we eat a steak, or a potato, we don't expect to have the same experience as the guy sitting next to us. We just allow them to have their own experience. My mom often laughs because one of her friends 'has never dined out and had a bad meal!' That is pretty awesome. How come? Because her intention is to have an amazing experience each and every time and NO MATTER WHAT, nothing is going to come in her way.
So... my message for today♡ BE Kind to YOU. LOVE yourself, no matter what. No matter your thought, your word, your deed, your emotion, your feeling. Embrace all that you are. Strive each and every thought, to make better choices, the best choices. To be a better, more loving compassionate, kind, and for me Spiritual person, each and every day. And it's not up to anyone else, ever, to match my experience... or definition of Spiritual. Because that experience. Is my experience♡
