The Mache Box

I really got to thinking about "The Box." The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear. In my head, at least, it's a challenge to try and sort these thoughts on the keyboard! Regardless, I am going to attempt to and see what transpires.

I remember when my niece and I were talking about busting out of the box that surrounded her. She became quite angry, "It's a box that others put around me. I did not put it up!" I so agree with her, and it does start this way. Even so, it's up to her to think outside, step outside, to tear it down, or to rebuild.

Consider our boxes as a paper mache surround. Each layer represents thoughts, ideas, values, morals, should's, should not's, they are all there. The more often we hear the same value, the more solid it becomes.  The layers are a reflection of our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, families, school friends, teachers, media, pretty much everyone that we come into contact with.

So my girl's statement is correct. The mache box becomes part of our hopes, our dreams, our limitations, our fears, our motivation; a part of who we are. There comes a time, and it is different for all of us, when we begin to question the validity and relevance of its makeup. It's the limiting values that we begin to question. Limitations that keep us from experiencing life as we somehow know that we should. Often we see this as it is presents itself as fear.

There are also internal layers, from birth that make up our mache. When we cry, we get fed or changed, when we laugh we get a smile, and so on. However, I am relating to the external in this text. As well, notably, many boundaries are good and necessary. As children, boundaries are put in place to keep us safe and secure. These boundaries are all part of our box. Our parents and family, relatives, for the most part, are huge participants in the making of our box. The more often, as toddlers and children that we hear what is expected of us, the more it becomes reinforced.

I recall, my sister with her first child. My mother wanted to put him in a playpen in the backyard, so that he wouldn't get hurt or each the grass. My sister was adamant about not doing this, "I want him to explore and experience what he can." This required a little more effort on her part (and ours), but the end result was inspiring. Who'd have known what would have happened if he ate grass! Yikes. My apologies, but some limitations are hilarious!

This all goes on in our pre-school years and everything seems hunk-a-dory until we meet the teen years.  This is the time when we begin to understand and to explore, to test what we are being told. To test the boundaries of our boxes to see how strong they are. Independence, can't hide it, there's no denying it! No matter what you try and teach, teens are going to do the opposite. That's the rule. This is when they begin to realize that maybe they have a choice. Mostly, I would say, because of the people that they encounter and share their day to day activities and experiences with, but even someone or a situation that you only meet once can reinforce your mache. Teens begin to question because the more people we meet, the more ideas, thoughts, values that are shared and you can bet your bottom dollar that some will vary. If you really think about it, this can be such a confusing time for young people. The more legitimate or valid the boundaries that have been instilled upon them, they are less likely to test the really deep waters. Layers are stripped and new layers are formed with the help of our peers and friends, teachers, coaches, churches. This is the first step at recognizing that we are in a box and we begin to examine each layer with a renewed perspective.

There are many levels and factors that relate to our own individual journey in this regard. It can take one person many years to recognize certain layers or limitations, to see that they can escape and rebuild. It's never too late and it is always liberating, worthwhile and inspiring. Some layers come down quickly, some, again take years to discover, new layers are put up. It is part of the lifelong journey, exploration of self.

Well, this is where I have been taken today. Try to think outside the box. Boxes are all built differently, with intention, kindness, safety fear and all sorts of ideas and knowledge and lessons.

Be Kind and Generous.

The "Box"

This morning I stepped out of my box. Or rather I knocked the wall down and THEN stepped out of my box.

Boxes are built around us, in most cases, as protection and security, based on another's beliefs and fears. Our boxes are also built with wonderful lessons, thoughts, love and nurturing. Our boxes are secured layer upon layer and reinforced until they become our own personal beliefs, thoughts and of course, fears. They are built around us in a loving way to protect and to teach. They finally become part of who we are, our reality. These boxes are built firmly in place and are typically invisible to the human eye.

I am writing this because I have lived in the box of anxiety. Although my anxiety is not extreme, I have spend many hours, read many books and studied many different forms of therapy to try and understand. My truth is that I have come to understand and learn what I need to in this regard on my own from deciphering through what I had read and what I had been taught, but my base was a clear and concise understanding of my own personal reality and then applying the principles that I had learned, much through trial and error. I am a firm believer that we are all individual and that although we can share information and personal lessons learned, we each have to discover what works uniquely for us.

My most important lesson was coming to an understanding that there is a difference between a Gut Feeling based on Intuition and a Gut Feeling based on Fear and Anxiety. Gut feelings based on fear happen in direction relation to the boxes that have been built around us and that we continue to sustain. This is a fear that says "don't do that because this will happen." If we were to take a moment to feel this emotion, we would understand it to be fear. It FEELs different from Intuition.

An example of this happened a couple of weeks ago. I was at an event with my parents at an old outdoor church site built entirely of stone. We were about to walk up some steps, when down came a little girl, holding her dad's hand, when she began to HoP down the last couple of steps. The woman in front of me gasped loudly, looked sternly at the little girl and exclaimed, "oh don't do that, you are going to hurt yourself!" I saw the delight and excitement fall from the little girls eyes.  This becomes a layer on her box. It takes many layers to securely trap ourselves into our boxes.

Intuition is a KNOWING. Knowing without a doubt and is not based on fear. There may be a warning attached to it, such as I don't want to take that turn and I am not sure why, but 'something' is telling me not to. Intuition can also lead us to many wonderful outcomes. Importantly is a tuning into these feelings, a knowing and understanding what is the driving force. For me, I have made a mindful effort to be aware of my feelings and emotions. This was really blown open wide when as I took this last course. I will given the skills and tools to take a moment to be aware of my surroundings, both internal and external and then name the feeling.

There is much to-do about Psychics and Mediums in our current society. I feel this is largely because we have so much interference in our lives. We are forgetting that the knowledge truly is within. We just have to stop and listen. We have to be still and quiet. We all have this gift, it is inherent in all of us. No exception. There are those who are more attuned just as there are those that are more athletically or mathematically tuned in. Any way that we look at it, it is there for us, if we choose to connect. Such as the athlete, who, although gifted in his sport, practices many hours a day, so to it takes practice to listen to our inner guidance and connect.

Just my thoughts for today... tuning into me and understanding. Not always logical, but I am aware and trying to sort through my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions. A good friend and myself have spent many hours taking with in this regard. I love conversation such as this, mostly because I love to learn. I absorb what is being conversed and then try to apply it to my life, situations or someone that may be in need.  Life is to be experienced.


   

Who I AM... Who Are You.

The Gift of Me!

A Wonderful Gift that I Have Been Given to Experience... Me... An Acceptance of My Emotions, My Feelings and My Thoughts. Who I am, Who Others are and Who We are in Relation to One Another. I No Longer Have to Change Who I am because of Who You are. When I look in the mirror, I love the person that I have become. This is not about Ego. It is about Self Acceptance. This allows me to truly share that person with others in a healthy relationship.

I see this Gift as the Gift of Life... or rather, the Gift of Unconditionally Experiencing Life. Truly, Fully Living. I suppose it was proposed to me as a Challenge, although I did not know it at the time, but I accepted it full on. I knew that my life had changed within moments and that this change is a forever experience.

When we go through life, its so easy to believe that the person that we are is the person that we will always be. One foot in front of the next. Until, one day, one moment, we are given the tools that truly give us the knowledge to Be the person that we are meant to be. We learn that we have a choice to truly know who we and and who we want to become. And it's not about the past. It's about the moment, letting the past be what it was and what it inspired us to be. In this moment, we get to choose our thoughts, our feelings and our emotions. 

Life is not something that just 'happens' to us, it is something that has brought us to where we are and then moved us forward, to now. 

Understanding this, knowing this, allows us to experience life more fully, with healthy boundaries, without attachment. I have learned to step outside the box and see life from a renewed perspective. A wonderful, liberating, freedom day. A day to be me and a day for you to be you. 

This journal has been an exciting one for me, perhaps written quickly and without thought! But it is what I am feeling in this moment and it is exciting and life changing, all the same. 

Our past will always be a part of who we are. If we just accept this, it will allow us to move forward more freely, with conscious choice. This is an enlightening opportunity. This is a conscious effort, a daily, even minute to minute process. Interesting though, the more I practice this conscious effort, the more effortless it becomes. It's become a part of me, a part of who I am. So very liberating and the foundation for Freedom.
I, without question, wish this process, to be brought into every school. We, as a human experience, need to  learn this. 

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