Suffering... what is it really about?

My friend and sometimes teacher, Gail, posted a statement on her Facebook wall that has challenged me to think outside my box. I hope that she doesn't mind me sharing this, but here goes.

"SUFFERING (is it good or bad?) I have learned that I have come here to be a creator and sometimes suffering is part of this process. When I am on the threshold of expansion, for example, I often experience fear and discomfort. Being on the verge of change tempts me to retreat backwards into my comfort zone. When I approach change with a sense of anticipation and adventure I can be quite excited about moving forward and the experience can feel exhilarating. Either way, my suffering shows me that I will eventually be moving forward now matter how long I choose to hold myself in my safe-feeling retreat."

My response was such that I did not fully understand the statement, I have never thought in terms of mental suffering only the physical, except in extreme cases (war, abuse). Mentally, I see in terms of challenges and lessons and choices. With this, I wondered if I knew the true meaning of the word. 

Suffering.... "Suffering, or pain in a broad sense, is an individual's basic affective experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm. Suffering may be qualified as physical or mental. It may come in all degrees of intensity, from mild to intolerable. Factors of duration and frequency of occurrence usually compound that of intensity. In addition to such factors, people's attitudes toward suffering may take into account how much it is, in their opinion, avoidable or unavoidable, useful or useless, deserved or undeserved.

Suffering occurs commonly in the lives of sentient beings, in diverse manners, and often dramatically. As a result, many fields of human activity are concerned, from their own points of view, with some aspects of suffering. These aspects may include the nature of suffering, its processes, its origin and causes, its meaning and significance, its related personal, social, and cultural behaviors, its remedies, management, and uses."

My experience with the word 'suffering' comes from my mother. When speaking the word 'suffering,' she  referenced it to Jesus and suffering on the cross. So, with that, my personal experience became, to suffer, a biblical, holy term. Nothing that I could/would ever experience could amount to this word suffering. She always stated that my grandmother 'suffered' in her late years because she was a very religious woman and believed that she too, must suffer, as did Jesus. I do not know how true or untrue this statement was, but I do know that it was her perspective and therefore, her reality. I respected this and I learned it.

Gail's statement is profound. It speaks in terms of fear and discomfort. It is honest and enlightening. 

My personal belief is in lessons, challenges, opportunities and choice. I don't see in terms of good or evil or bad, suffering or luck. May sound crazy to most people but I also do not believe in luck, good or bad. When others say 'Best of luck' or 'Good luck,'" I would rather say 'May good opportunities present themselves' (it does require more thought because it's not a blanket statement). Luck, seems to me, gives up the accountability and choice brings it back. Right or wrong, this is how my crazy thought process works. 

Prior to reading this, I did not see suffering as a lesson, rather a state of being, a label.  Lessons and challenges come with obstacles and opportunities. Usually, I would challenge, the more open we are to this, the less 'suffering' we would do. Having said this, I can incorporate that perhaps suffering is part of the process. Suffering would occur when we felt that we could not get out of a current cycle, pattern, lesson, when we felt stuck or trapped, helpless, perhaps hopeless. This, to me would be to suffer. 

The challenge was to see the word in the mental, where I have always seen it in the physical, with the exception of extreme cases. 

I will end here, as I have gained a new perspective of the word suffering. To suffer.  And I will share a response from a friend of Gail's, who wrote this:

"Suffering is only meant to be a label. Really many other people look at this question from a different perspective as you do Lori. Some people view it as challenges although sometimes when you repeat the same challenge too often you become stuck in a cycle and the fall out to this can become issues tied to self esteem. As you repeat the cycle you feel as though you are not accomplishing what you set out to do and at some point you brain tells you to stop trying because you don't like the feeling of failure. This is where the suffering comes into hand.

Profound... communication... openness... unconditional... a willingness to learn, always.