Wanting the world to go back to how you believe it to be. There is so much talk and messages on Facebook about depression. Depression, like any other illness, has many different faces. Having only experienced it from the outside looking in, I am not entirely sure how one gets from here to there, how one falls so deeply into the darkness. That is how I see depression. Probably because depression is so often covered in darkness. A dark room, a blank stare, no hope.
People talk about depression as a chemical imbalance. Perhaps there is some truth in this. That 'chemical' would be light. Pure, sunlight, allowed in through love and brought forth by hope.
Depression is not about sadness. It's about drowning. Being in a boat without a paddle to someone battling depression, is a good place to be. As one still has the paddle. And a boat. What I have witnessed is someone who can't find the paddle, or the boat, and it's dark outside. But it's darker inside.
Depression is also a loss of hope. When one finally finds the light, there is often so much wreckage, that all of their fears encapsulate sending them back into the water with weights upon their feet. What I do know, what I believe, is that they just want out. This, I have witnessed, must be one of the toughest fights ever.
But it takes a village. It begins with one person at a time, one thought, one idea, one step, one voice. And unconditional love; without condition. Any conditions. 'Just get over it!.' 'Snap out of it!' 'Just think positive!' 'Why can't they just move on!' I'd love to have said that it was as easy as a snapped finger. But it wasn't. It was a daily existence of finding that glimmer.
At some point, someone has to step back shouting, 'Hey YOU are wrong!' It's about Love. Look around, you can see it clearly. We have left the compassion and the caring, the love, out of the equation. We have long forgotten what it was like to be human. To have a human experience, joined together as one. Each person effects the next person, no matter how near or far.
Media has opened an awareness on many issues such as depression. No longer are these experiences behind closed doors, they are flung wide open for all to see and experience. We can no longer pretend that it doesn't exist. But this also requires truthfulness. And non judgment. Learning about non judgment, for me, was such an incredible awareness. Understanding it, yet there is always much to learn, is life altering.
While I am here, I am called to bring up the past. I talk much about 'the past.' I believe that the past is exactly that, a stepping stone to our growth, our now. I also believe that we can walk away from it at any time, without looking back. That is really the only way to do it. With each step forward, new awareness & experiences are more stepping stones built to define our reality.But, yes, the past still exists and often the minds and in the memories of others. This, is reality. Truth be told, if we have changed, and truly, changed, in the heart, soul, and with the creation of new experiences & beliefs, then, our present becomes a renewed past, otherwise, our 'past' continues into our present. I believe if we are called to accept an error or misjudgment of our past, then own it. Own it for once and for all and then as a society, we then must move forward. That's what moves us forward. There need be a plan, a very specific plan of allowance and love.
Having written of all this I am left wondering. I used to believe that everything would just work out, that all would be okay, not always easy, but okay, that each person, every person, deserves the most out of life. But perhaps I too am lost, perhaps to some degree this glimmer of hope needs awakening for me. Awareness. What keeps me going is that I know that we can be better. Better Humans that is. And it's time to be.
