Bullying ~ The Big Secret

Everyone wants to be loved, accepted and cared for. There are no exceptions. Everyone wants friends, which, from what I have read, is what little Amanda Todd wanted most. She was a child and as a society we failed her and many other children that have left before her as well. Unless something changes, we will continue to do so. We are constantly inundated with TV shows, movies, music videos, music artists, you-tubes commercials, photos, the list is long, that are sending inappropriate, wrong and often mixed messages to young girls that this may be ok, even though they most likely know that it does not feel right. She wanted to be accepted. Our new advanced society played a major role in this as well. This is so wrong. Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes and we see it in little ways, such as trying to be funny, and we see it much larger, harder and hurtful. We have to protect these children. There are predators out there and we are making it easier for them. I am so incredibly sad that a child has lost all hope.

My personal belief is that communication and education are key. We can protect our children, we can teach them tools, but we cannot be with them every moment. It's a child's job to seek independence, freedom from the 'chains' (as they see them) from their parents. The most important tool during this period is communication, especially listening. Even when and mostly, when they don't want to talk. A word, a hug, just so they know that no matter what, they are loved and accepted, even when their hair is spiked up and  purple on the ends. This is their individuality. It can be a tough period but knowing that you are accepted within your family and that there is dialogue. Parents need an invisible shield at this time. This is so important, because when something happens, such as bullying, they need to know, without a doubt, that they will be heard, listened to. Teachers, coaches are also important. It's a huge umbrella. It is community and we have to keep our eyes and ears open.

Hurtful words leave invisible scars. But they are not invisible inside. One form of bullying is to emotionally effect another through negative words. I was bullied as a child. To this day, it still affects me. Most likely each and every one of has been bullied at some point in our lives.

My personal experience with bullying is that I was bullied because I was different. I thought differently. It is hard to be accepted when you are different and through the years, it has become increasingly difficult to be unique, to think outside of the box. It matters not the intention of the bullying, it matters how it affects one inside. I was fortunate because, I had a great family support system, even though, my reality, was that I was different from them as well. Having said that, by definition, I am still bullied because I think differently. People don't really believe that it is bullying though, they think that it is ok, sometimes they just think that they are being funny. It's not funny when it hurts or opens wounds that we might have thought were long gone. I do know that how we accept or perceive the words are a reflection of our present state of mind.

I have a core belief that we all experience what we need to as children to experience life as an adult and play an important and unique role in society. I believe that this is God's will; Thine will be done through me.  We are all here to learn. We are all here to teach. With this, as I learn and I teach. This is my gift.  I was uncomfortable with my body. I spent a lot of time trying to hide it.

"Be unapologetic in your positivity even in the face of dire circumstances. Even when it seems that there is no way out, insist that there is one and that you just cannot see it at that moment. Though you may not have an answer now, be secure in the knowledge that there is an answer to every question you can ask. You may need to develop patience to wait out periods of “darkness”. Know that the light always comes." This is at the core of my belief system. 

I have a gift of the ability to sense what is happening with those I come into contact with. Everyone. I do believe that we all have this gift. I am most aware of this and perhaps more sensitive to it. My challenge has been to separate my sense of self from those emotions of others.

My acceptance and understanding of this has been recent. It has sometimes been a lonely road. In the past, I have just said things that come to my head, as an observation, without being accountable. I typically tune into energies immediately. I can't seem to hide from it, although I would like to sometimes. I often ask myself why I can't just have a normal conversation. The answer is because I am picking up on how others are feeling inside. I can feel it. I have always known that this scared people, but to be honest, without understanding it, I really didn't know why. To explain it better is that I tune into their emotions and I do so without thinking or being aware of it. For many years, I carried these feelings and emotions with me. I have now learned to let them go, to separate myself from them.

Too Much Pain

The most difficult of these feelings is pain. Mental pain is one thing, physical pain is a whole other pain. It makes me crazy, I often cover my ears or walk away. The feelings of the mental pain, up until now, have affected me because I have allowed the pain to take me back to my own pain. This is what I have had to learn to do. And it is quite a process, a challenge that can indeed be conquered. I was like an emotionally charged wrecking crew. I, however, perhaps because of this, am able to conceal my pain, thoughts, emotions.


This is what is at the core of my individuality, who I am. For me to embrace this gift is to be whole and inspired.

Just my thoughts on this day.................