My husband & I packed up almost 8 years ago to leave the hustle and bustle of the big city to move to our 'little 'peace' of heaven' in the country.
SO much has transpired over the past several years, so many lessons we've had to learn. I do believe that there is a lesson to learn in every experience and continually seek to learn. Today, I learned, BIG.
There are no failures, only experiences and opportunities of growth. Upon moving out to to our 'peace' of heaven, with so many new opportunities before us, we delved into community life; happily, joyfully, with eyes wide open and feet first. Or so we thought; it seems that we forgot the parachute!
But alas, even though I kept searching for the lesson, I just couldn't seem to find it. I did know the essence of the lesson, I was just having difficulty getting the pieces to fit. Until today.
There is no failure, only opportunity to grow and to experience more. Having said that, my husband would say, at this exact moment in time, that he has failed. But it just is not so. I do have the faith that he will come to realize this lesson, enabling him to move forward with pride.
This has been difficult, because although, for the most part (we are human!), we take every opportunity to see the lesson; sometimes, it is so big or we are so beaten down, that it takes a bit more time. When this happens, we often carry it around attached to us as anger, fear or frustration, or, all of the above.
The key is to seek and to see, trust and learn, embrace and then LeT iT Go... only then, are able to truly move forward. One way of doing this is to step outside the picture to see the experience as a whole, not just bits and pieces of it.
Or to look at the picture without being in it, we are often able to gain a new perspective.
This is what I have had to do; but some lessons are just tougher than others and someone always comes along and says, 'God doesn't give you what you can't handle,' which, often just makes us feel worse, cause then we just keep taking it.
I would venture to say that God gives us only what we NEED to learn, to experience, to grow and to love. Then he cheers joyfully once we do!
Our lesson, at this time, felt like a really BIG, GIGANTIC one, but the reality is that this is just my perception. God is cheering loudly today!
So what's the big lesson, you're asking. I would say that the answer to the question lay in my new awareness that small towns parallel families; values, insights, familiarities, experiences, dysfunctions, conditions and all, good or bad. (this is true of all communities, churches, schools, teams, cities, countries, it can be applied in many places).
This awareness can serve in a very positive manner and does work effectively and efficiently throughout the world, and yet, it has the ability to be so debilitating on the other side of the coin. In our case, for me, it, at the very least, finally answers the question as to why the community in which we are living, has had little or no growth over many years. And to further answer, for us, why we have struggled for the last 8 years with acceptance within the community.
This has taken me back to reflect upon my truth, to what I
solemly believe is at the core of our Universal Truths; 'That Love is the Single, Most Powerful Experience in Life. Everything comes from either a Fear State or Secure State of Love.'
In my book, I talk about our Shadow Side and our Reveal side, and discuss how we show to people what keeps us safe and comfortable, as well as what keeps them safe and comfortable. This doesn't mean that it is 'right,' nor the truth, only that it keeps us safe. It is our perception. Our Shadow Side fiercely protects us from what we perceive to be the truth based on our past experiences and what we 'know.' This also keeps us from some pretty wonderful experiences, due to these fears.
My goal in writing this is not to promote my book, but rather to share my lesson, to learn and to grow; to move forward with strength and further awareness. In the same regard, I am also not writing this to bash or to further create negativity within our community. I recall a while back, a friend said to me, 'That's what all small towns are like.' This is the truth. But it doesn't just pertain to small towns, but to big cities, provinces, schools, sport teams, clubs, the workplace, churches; it can really be applied to all forms of 'communities.' I, personally, just needed fully learn and embrace this, to move forward.
There are so many wonderful attributes within this community and of the people of the community. There are many that have and continue to support us; and those who bring inspiration, conversation and laughter to me daily. When we first moved here we were amazed at the many fundraising efforts for charities and new enterprises! It was all truly commendable and still is. It certainly appeared to be a fine fit! I suppose, it was a perfect fit to learn my lesson. I am and will be always grateful to those who have supported us and allowed me to grow during my time here.
With this new awareness, I am now able to move forward and this always makes me HaPPy! To move past what my lesson was, as well as what had over shadowed the support. What I have learned is that those who have supported us, are already able to see and understand the bigger picture. That although there are loyalties within and to the community, in order to grow, they must sometimes step outside the comfort zone and be accepting of new experiences/people, that which may be unfamiliar.
I do not place fault on those that remain only loyal; as it is but a reflection of their safety, their comfort zone. What did surprise me most, is the fierceness in which the loyalties grew and how strong it became. I do understand it now.
By looking at the big picture, I am now able to see and to understand all of this. It's comparable to a family where the parents are abusive or alcoholic. It's what they know that keeps them safe. Loyalty is commendable. It is just not necessarily honest, nor does it always carry values or integrity. It often remains unconditional. Further, there is no allotment to learn and therefore to grow.
Just hoping someone will change or learn from an experience, does not make it so. Without knowing or understanding this, the 'one more chance', goes on indefinitely. There is no need to change. When the need is not there, there is no growth. It does keep them all safe in their community. Tough Love is tough because it can be difficult for all side to step outside the security of their box.
When I began writing this, I made of list of the experiences that led me to this insight, but truthfully, this is not about how I was wronged, it's about insight, awareness and growth. I was able to see the connection
between these experiences, my lessons and my teachings. So, with that, I deleted all of the experiences from both this blog and my mind, they no longer serve me in any manner. And with this I move forward, with more kindness and a smile. I am sincerely grateful. I trust in the process. I look forward to my husband learning and embracing this lesson, as well. Which brings me to another of our Universal Truths, 'the Allowance, for all to be, in their own time and place, beginning with self.'
My 2 Favorite Universal Lessons all wrapped up on one! <3
