Love. what is it really? Does anyone know?

Today, I have a couple of things to tell you. Raw and honest, but mostly unsure. First of all, believe it or not, but it is fear that has dramatically held me back from so many experiences in my life.

Fear of what? you might ask. Fear of being, or not being loved in return.

I briefly looked up some of the possible definitions of Love... to include: 

"A willingness to prioritize another's well-being or happiness above your own." This is interesting and will have to be followed up by deep contemplation and consideration.

Love is also defined as "Extreme feelings of attachment, affection, and need." This part sounds somewhat like co-dependency. 

Finally, Love is also summed up by "Dramatic, sudden feelings of attraction and respect." which, is great, but then adds, "a fleeting emotion of care, affection, and like." Well... You had me up to 'fleeting.' 

Is love a fleeting emotion? Is love merely an emotion? Is it tangible? Is it real? Is it necessary? Does it, in fact, make the world go round? What is the purpose? 

These are the questions that continue to rain down upon me as I am in such a confused state within this world where Love seems to have no investment nor a potential asset. Many do not seem to care past the tips of their nose. 

Not me, not anymore. I.... 

I. Refuse to do this anymore. Period. Resiliency. Rather, I refuse to allow myself to do this to me anymore.

o

It's. well, for the first time in my life, I am 'in love.' I don't even know what that means, yet I thought
that I did. I actually believed that I was in love before, but... really, how can one be in love when one is not even sure what it is?

o

I know that I have thought this before, but then I also so recognize that I had no idea.

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What I have learned over the past many months, perhaps even years, is that you cannot love somebody else without loving yourself first. So what does that consideration amount to?

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Love who you are. I see this now.

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What I know most of all is that when I feel as though I might be in the state of 'love' with you, that this is the most incredible, most actual heartwarming feeling ever imaginable.

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I just am uncertain how to define this. It is. and. It isn't.

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It's not about what a person does, or does not do, yet it IS all about that. As I look upon this, I feel as though I am forced to embrace that 'love' is an energetic connection. Until the awareness has the opportunity to defend itself.

The Bible says that God is Love and that humans crave Love from the moment of existence. Can this possibly be true? or have some truth to it? It is defined that there are four unique forms of love, which are found in Scripture. They are communicated through the four Greek words: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. They are characterized by romantic Love, family Love, brotherly Love, and God's Divine Love. 

And so today I stop here to ponder. on Love. on the Essence. on the Feeling. on the Betrayal. on all of it, what it means, and where it takes us. Bare with me as I move from Resilience to understanding Love, as somehow I am meant to better understand what is better meant to serve me <3