BAck tO mE ... aGAin

Sometimes making sense of the senseless causes me such angst. From my last post, the weekend was a whirlwind of discussion, tears, allowance, reconciliation, family, good, true friends and those who I have worked with. Interesting, as I struggle to use the word 'client' or what-have-you, as, from my perspective, we are all equal. Certainly, there is a manner in which we have met, but I believe that we are all on the same level, no one person better or above another, and that we can and should all be there for one another. But it's a crazy world where so many strive and seek to be the best, the richest, the most powerful, the most mighty. It's just not my world. 

What I learned this weekend was plenty. What I discovered was that the depth of inner turmoil comes as a cost of being an empath. With the world being in a chaotic state, with one swing after another, from grown people, who, well, quite frankly, know better. As a society, we need to do better. a lot better. Was it the 'me' generation that this mess was built upon? What role does social media play? So many questions, so few answers.

Over the many years of blogging and introspection, if I have learned one thing, it's that the masses like a rags to riches story. They may not all begin that way, but from my vantage point, it draws people in. I have tried to stay away from this, as my goal, my vision, is to create from a place of inspiration, reflection, and truth; one that begins in this moment and moves us forward to the next moment, better, stronger, and more whole. Interesting word. 

My story, is what it is. My writing is a reflection of where I am today and my thoughts and focus as I begin the journey into whatever it may offer. The two questions that are most important for me in the morning are:

1. What is my greatest ideal of myself today? to ask myself this and to then carry it around with me being the best person that I can be. 

2. What do I want to experience today that will make my day full and satisfied? 

To be better, we have to want better, and to want better we have to make different choices. 

If you ask me, I would say that my 'Intensity' is my downfall. I am certainly not unaware of it. Others may call it passion.  This is also my intended awareness for today. Focus. The challenge of this lesson is that my intensity should not be mistaken for a manic energy (which typically fizzles out) that get us from point A to point B. This is key for me today. I can feel it. It's not about getting from here to there, but rather, basking in the experiences. The lesson within this message is a recognition that right now, right here, is the only moment that we truly have, so experience it for all that it is worth. Stay present and give gratitude for the allowance and gift of the present moment. 

There is also an awareness that not everyone is going to like this, they may feel threatened or annoyed. AND THAT IS OKAY.  That is their story.  This is my story, my journey, my experience. Others will be uplifted and refreshed. It is clarity that will move me forward though, as I surrender to the opinion of others and hold my faith in God, the Creator, the Divine Spirit. 

I have always lived outside the box, never a follower, or an imitator; I am an original... It's up to me to find my innermost core. There may be darkness ahead, but the intensity of the fire that burns within me, if I allow it to, will bring me to the sunlight. 

Back to Focus. For me, the focus remains on Love and Faith. This so often makes me feel like that fish out of water, jumping bowls, from all that does not make sense to me and what I struggle with. To love is to CHOOSE love; allowing love to become the most powerful force for change. Those moments when everything seems to fall apart at the seams, are the moments when Faith jumps in to pull me back and keep me on track. 

So what is Faith. hmmm. Faith is an act; a belief in a higher existence or power; which can be different for many. For me, that higher power is God or the Divine Spirit. Faith grows when we act without knowing the end result. It's acting and then allowing, as we release and surrender to that higher power, that is based in love. 

I wonder if that makes sense. 

For me it does. There seems to be a moment of contemplation that I am being led to experience. An experience that I can only determine my worth, or my value, and my beliefs... not based on others, but but going within. The only manner in which to calm the waters is to sit in contemplation, rather than running and trying to catch whatever it is that I am seeking or wanting in this moment. THAT is not based in either love nor faith. 

If I can find this within, The Light represents the formless, shapeless, unknowable and undefinable source which serves as a reminder that no matter what we think we know, we know nothing at all.

Somehow, the appearance of this message seems to point towards the uncovering of truths. (and with that, perhaps this is on a worldly scale, with all of the chaos that surrounds us)... and perhaps where faith and love comes into play. To illuminate the light within the darker parts of our souls that creates a symphony of change, because of the recognition of deeper truths. This may lead to the real connections that I have been seeking between myself and the rest of the world... the fish out of water. Within this infinite realm of existence and light, anything and everything is possible. 

This requires so much contemplation for me today... to understand its relevance and on so many different levels. Perhaps I will continue my thoughts once back from work... with new awareness and perspectives.  

Be well. Love and have Faith. Lori-Lynn