To all... another day that we have been given to connect with others, in ways in which we need to be more creative and open than ever before. I hope for you and incredible day, always reaching beyond the limits of your rational mind and stretching your imagination to the far ends of the Universe.
And with that, I take a gigantic breath! It's been a crazy week for me. One that seems to be passing me by so quickly, and yet I am just not sure how much I have accomplished. So my answer will be, as much as I possibly can, while taking the time to commit to authentic self-love; being true to who I am within. This is where the guilt, shame, blame, and accountability, asks us to step back and reflect.
Where did I leave off.... oh yes. Once I made the decision to leave my marriage, a whole new sense of me seeped out everywhere. As I look back, it was not always pretty; rather quite often was not a sight that I am proud of; but I am certain that the steps have all been necessary to bring me back to my authentic self. This was the Self that I had lost. I did not even know who I was. Worse yet, I didn't even know that I had lost sight of my sense of self; my sense of being.
In the beginning, I thought that I would just finally be happy, after so many years of survival. It just didn't happen in the way that I expected it. Responsibility and Accountability... it was all mine. It had to be, as I could not expect anyone to fix or change me... this is the most imperative part of the journey... and often the most difficult. Accepting responsibility for every aspect of my own life. It included looking back and seeing what, why, and even how, and then allowing myself a whole new perspective of events. Seeing through the lens of love, taking us on a journey of forgiveness of self.
So.... Just how do we achieve Authentic Self-Love?
It begins by accepting myself for all that I am; the bravo moments, faults, insecurities, the ways in which I love, saw love, sought love, ask for love, respond, and react; right now, right here, in this moment. It really is amazing how self-acceptance can change ones world. The opposite is true also, when we have been beaten down to a place of fear, stagnation, and hopelessness. I was there.
I found myself not being able to make a decision. I was stagnant in fear and I did not even know it. The moment that I began to see this, was the moment that I knew that only I could heal all of the wounds, trauma, and scars. I had to first not place blame. I continually looked back at my life and was able to see where the patterns began. And the moment that you can see this, is the moment that it became my responsibility to adjust, change, and transform the energy within myself. To that where I once again believed in my own goodness; my strength, support, and power; and become my greatest fan. Without the support of myself, I began using anger, fear & frustration to hide who I was; who I thought others wanted me to be. I very quickly discovered that if I couldn't be seen or heard, then my voice would not have the power it deserves or yearns for.
So today it’s time to understand this part of the journey and how I found my power of Self Acceptance; to find this power and harvest it. It is a huge commitment to do whatever it takes to rediscover my power and my voice. And to never stop harvesting that power.
Love Yourself
But I had to go back to that place where I re-discovered who it is I am. This is at the very core of our being. I began by sending myself new messages. Constantly and continually, and always aligned with who I know that I am within. This may be difficult, really difficult at first, and I did not always believe it to be true because of the past messages, but its to continue to do it, moment after moment, day after day, until one day I looked into the mirror and liked what I saw! I recognized that I really do love me! I liked me! Each time that I did this, it will become easier and I became stronger. Mostly because I knew that I was the only one responsible for me; for my happiness. The key to this was to observe my responses and ensure that they were, in fact, related to the present experience and not past trauma or experiences.
Guilt, Shame, Blame
I am not even sure that I knew how not to live without the guilt, shame, and blame of myself. I did know that I had to find a way. All of these words represent judgment and ego and present blockages; some of which we have not been aware of for a long time. To move forward, I had to move through this process to that of responsibility and acceptance. Typically this all begins at a very young age and as we grow older, we reinforce these beliefs. Interesting, this is when I truly began to understand fully my defense system. I observed and reflected and was able to see how if effected and shaped who I was. I was suppressing my own power. I found that I had to understand my motivation as I moved through the decision making process... to do so without the attachment of my past trauma or experiences. I had to learn how to defend myself without being defensive; to let go of a belief that was not true, but more importantly, limiting my personal power.
Understanding all of this brought me back on a path of belief and trust. This is when I began to allow and trust in Spirit, the Universe, God; that my hopes, wishes, dreams, and visions would be co-created when I sat in the right flow of energy rather than resisting it; moving together with my higher power.
Forgiveness
No matter what has happened in our past, no matter what crazy, silly, or even stupid things that we have done, each and every one of us deserves forgiveness. Although I knew that I had worked through all of this before, I saw that it was on a different level. This was when I recognized a new insight and made the choice to finally be accountable and to let go.
For me, this was almost a refresher, but in a more powerful way. I have worked through this, but with the circumstances that presented over the past many years, and living in survival mode, I would have to take responsibility for my today and future.
So once again, each morning, I stand before the mirror and look at myself. I really look to see what was before me. I do it with kindness and respect, while repeating the words,
“Good Morning Me! I deserve the VERY BEST of every opportunity that life offers me today! I love and accept me. Just the way I am. Right now and in every moment. I LOVE ME! I am loved! I am Perfect just the way I am and ever evolving to be more perfect each and every day! I am safe. Life Loves Me.”
There are some that are uncomfortable with the words ‘I am Perfect.’ Know that this is part of the illusion. Wherever we are along our journey, is exactly where we need to be at any given time. This, in this moment, is perfect for you, your circumstances, events and experiences. This is why the phrase is so important to your journey, acknowledging that you love and accept yourself exactly how you are, right now, in this moment. You are perfect and you are safe.
Choose to see the beauty and love. Choose to be accountable and make the changes that serve your highest good... always aligned with the Divine Spirit of Unconditional Love.
Much love, light, healing and happiness, Lori-Lynn
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