Change Happens when Change Begins

Ch-ch-Cha-aa-an-ges

Change happens when change begins. My niece was talking to me about a relationship in her life, and she made this statement in that regard.
Simple but true. “Something has to change for change to begin.”

Change comes about when we find it necessary to move forward from a situation and understand that to move forward we must look within ourselves. and learn what has been blocking our success or ability to move forward. We can then begin the necessary steps to create the life in conjunction with our Divine being, our highest self. We must mirror that reflection in ourselves. 

Often people want something to change, but they are either fearful of the change itself, the outcome or the unknown, or stirring up their place of comfort. What makes this most difficult is that this comfort place, is often a place of chaos or drama. They often don’t even notice anymore that they are, in fact, in an unhealthy place. There is usually a trigger that prompts or forces that change. Some people may refer to this as “hitting rock bottom.” The truth, I believe, is that in reality, we do not have to hit this rock bottom, we just have learn the tools to becoming mindful and honest with ourselves. Being conscious and in control of ourselves, other people and situations. Learning that there is always a choice and that choice has to be consistent with our highest self, our higher good.  

If you really want something to change, acknowledgement and pure honesty is key.  Then you have to be clear that change must occur and make every choice to strive towards that change. Ask yourself, without ego or judgement, what is that you may be holding onto in regards to the person, yourself or the situation, that is preventing you from moving towards change. At first, this may take some time and lots of practice, but if you really listen to yourself non-judgmentally, the answers will come. Focus on the purity of the answer, seeing the ‘reality’ of the issue for what it truly is. Don’t create stories or dwell on the answers. Just acknowledge that this is something that was/is holding you back from moving in the direction that you are choosing to go.   

A further step in this regard to ask a friend or person involved for insight into the situation. If you do take this step, it is imperative to set firm and safe boundaries. It is important that the boundaries are acknowledged and kept. Egos, excuses and blame are to be left at the door. Gentleness is the guide here. Essentially, you are asking for honesty and the facts, not a description. If we make excuses or continue to place blame, then we stay the same. Acknowledgement of the answers has to be accepted for the higher good of you. The idea is to change something.

Once you have discovered the issue(s) that may be blocking the situation from moving forward, you can then begin to move in the direction that you choose. Become conscious of the issues. Be mindful.  When you hear or see yourself acting in a manner that may have caused a problem in the past, ask yourself, “how is my action or reaction serving me?” and/or, “how is my action or reaction serving my goal of change?”  It is important, as well to remember that you cannot change another, only your response or reaction to them.

Clear, conscious, mindful thoughts are the best start in understanding that in everything, thought, idea, action, we have a choice. Being conscious or mindful of your thoughts and our effect on one another can create a whole new relationship. A person acting irrationally is usually acting out of fear, frustration or anger. I tend to believe that fear is the biggest motivator in today’s society.  I believe that love should be the biggest motivator. Pure, honest, love. The kind of love that is gentle, protective, sincere and kind. It is a love that is not Ego based. For me, it is based on our Higher Good. It’s not always going to be achieved, but it is worth striving towards.

There was a time, and I realize that it sounds crazy, but when you asked someone what they wanted most in the world, the answer was often “to be happy.” If that is the case, then you have to define what happiness is to you. If you want to happy, take steps to be happy. The steps outlined can be followed. First, define in detail, what happiness means to you. Then ask yourself, honestly and without judgement what is blocking you from being happy? Listen for the answers, they will come, if you are patient and allow them to. Then as you begin each day, make a pact with yourself that you are going to strive to be that happiness all throughout the day.
Then be mindful of your actions and reactions, asking yourself, “is this (what I am doing or about to do) moving me towards or away from my happiness?

Clear, Conscious, Conscious Choice bring Change.