I believe that I may have come to a complete new awareness and perspective of my life and how this ties into both codependency and giving up, which from this viewpoint, is most likely do to lack of external support from those closest to me... or rather I should say, what I have perceived, up until this place in time, as a lack of support.
The reality is that our perception is our current reality... which is why our reality can, will, and does change... it's all energy, and yes, energy is fluid and ever transforming. Each time our awareness changes, we begin to see everything so differently. So you see, this is the importance within the connection. Our perception changes as we download, experience, take on challenges, bring forth new adventures; each time we do so, it opens us up to a new understanding and opportunity... an advantage that allows us to look at the world through new eyes.
In codependency, we talk about relationship imbalance. Typically it comes into play where one person enables anothers addiction, irresponsibility, or, where I am concerned, underachievement.
One of the most important core characteristics, is a reliance (usually to the breaking point) on another for approval, acceptance; even their sometimes messy or tainted sense of approval. It's a learned behaviour, and recognition is the key that unlocks a whole expanded way of thinking.
For me, these roots run long and deep, so often feeling as thick and solid as a tree trunk. It began at such a young age, my toddler years, of trying fit in and figure out where I belonged, all the while trying so desperately to please my older sister. Yet, I had no idea how to.
This came to light with such an awareness this evening as a friend and I were talking about a business idea and plan that we are working towards bringing into fruition. This is merely in the talking stage... a collaboration of ideas, visions, dreams, and, for me, finally a reconnection of hope.
The hope that I had lost, what seemed, so very long ago.
And there it was, that which had seemed lost, was actually inside of me all along; deeply hidden behind fear, guilt, and shame.What a jackpot of independent thoughts raged through me.
That was when I finally understood, opening up my sensory perception like never before. Honestly, I wasn't even entirely certain what to make of it all, how to translate, recall, or integrate. With that I picked up my pen to outline and analyze, and scrutinize what I was being made aware of.
One of my past bosses, whom I have such respect for, once shared with me that her father instilled in her that the toughest challenges are our greatest opportunities for growth and to learn; and make no mistake, these challenges and what we choose to learn from them, will be put to good use at some point in our lives. I say... always for the best... to shine as the great beacon of light that we are all meant to be.
I am not sure where it leaves me, but I am certainly up to task on this one. A thesis on this could have an astoromical impact on our teaching and learning styles... but, in this moment, and more so, what does the wholeness of the equation reveal?
On a level of Mental Health, this in itself would also be its own brilliant thesis to set the bar to the base line of understanding one another.
The question that keeps going around and around and around in my head is, can this mindset be transformed into a positive, insightful, and inspirational overtone? What would it take to do this?
My first response is codependency. If this is learned behavior and left to be reinforced in the school years, unless some interference is run, then being dependent upon another for our own happiness, health, and well-being is imminent.
A side question becomes, who is to blame and at what cost? As with any addiction, the unseen or hidden costs usually permeate their way to create extensive internal and external damage.
Just first thoughts... perhaps to bring me closer to home, my core, the love of self.
What truly makes you happy? What could you do today that would bring happiness to your day? Who or what does it serve?
Have an amazing evening. Shine your light and laughter wherever you go. Just be you... at your core... that is where hope resides. Much love, Lori-Lynn
No comments:
Post a Comment