Giving Up

 "When you love yourself you learn to love all things in life.  As the sun peaks though the fingertips so too will it shine inside of you.  There are two common emotions in life -one is love -the other is fear- when you love all things -there is no fear.  Darkness and fear cannot be present when love and light are shining on every nook and cranny of your being."

Always about the lessons, always. and so very many. and Always where I am led. I have a poster on my bathroom wall. I have been focusing on one line for awhile. 'Judge your successes by what you had to give up in order to get it.' 

My question was always, why do we have to always lose something to get something? Why can't things stay the same, but get better? This seems silly to me right now. What brought me to this understanding? The truth is that I was always looking at the physical, the material, in terms of 'giving up something,' hence the 'loss.' And sometimes this is the case. Often even, as the journey is what it needs most to be. There has been much material that I have lost over the past years of our journey. At times it felt like a load too much to bare. There were days that it was. But each day I put one foot in front of the next and continued on, to learn, to grow, to teach and to experience; all of what life offered and sent out. There were days when this could have been really sad, but I didn't allow it to be. There were days that I cried. But then I wiped the tears away with the strength I didn't even know existed. There were days that I was really, really angry at God. But then I came to terms that this was my journey, my lessons and God is moving me in the direction of my Destiny.

If I could explain or put into words, in this moment, the journey that has led me to here, it would seem unbelievable to many. I did write about the first part of the journey. Soon I will be able to continue with the next chapter. 

There were days that we were really cold. There were days that I did not know how it would all work, how I could/would make it all work. But I did. I had to. That is the only way to keep moving forward. What I don't or did not want is for anyone to feel sorry for me, perhaps compassion and understanding, but not sorry. There were days that I did too much of that for myself. Perhaps not days, but moments, certainly there were moment. But I know now that what I gave up in material, I gained in truth and love. Of self first and then others. 

But then it hit me. Think outside the box, girl, outside the box. Giving up does not have to mean material at all. So, what can it mean? And what have I given up in order to learn and grow? 

So much. So very much. and I am grateful. I gave up trying to please. and Replaced it with honesty and integrity; from a place of love. i understand, now, the dynamics of pleasing, within me, anyhow. Pleasing is about Acceptance and Belonging. What happens is that we end up setting ourselves up on a merry-go-round that never stops. The person that we need to please first, is ourselves. Then when we 'give' to others, we do so out not from of place of 'need.' When we do this, we are actually giving away pieces of ourselves, trading, for what we truly want. What I truly wanted was to be accepted. To belong. I gave this up. I accept myself completely, knowing that I do belong.

I gave up not liking who I was, and more importantly, who I am. I replaced this with an unconditional understanding and love for my journey. The first step was the acceptance. Not liking who we are leads us on a spiral, a downward one. If I could give each child a gift today, I would say, 'Right now, right here, like who you are. Start from there. Wrap yourself up in this each morning and each evening before bed. Like who you are.'

I gave up not loving who I was, who I am. I now see myself as a loving child of God. We all are.This is the most important thing to remember. It's not about you and anybody, you and them, it's about You and God. Always was.

I gave up being dishonest to myself, which often leads us to being dishonest with others. We learn from a very young age what keeps us safe. Safety is the first of the hierarchy of needs (Food, Shelter and Safety). So often we do whatever it takes to feel safe, which, in my case, led to being dishonest with myself. Not only dishonest about feelings and emotions; bur more so my truth, the truth of who I am and what I wanted, what I needed. I am responsible for me. I am responsible for my Journey and the path that leads us there is one of truth and honesty within. 

I gave up being angry at myself and with others; understanding where the anger came from and releasing all aspects of this. Discovering what I was truly angry with or at, is key. There is always a root cause. Just ask the simple question, 'what are you angry at really?' not in that moment, but deep within, hidden, waiting to be recognized and cared for. For me, I believe that the anger also came from a place of acceptance and wanting to belong. As children, we often get conflicting and confusing messages, which we strive to understand. Not living from a place of anger, not being angry is amazing.

I gave up the need to compare, myself and others. I gave up judging others. We all have a story. We have all walked different paths and although our journeys are interconnected, our stories are different, our lessons and teachings are different. Different is good. Acceptance is better.
I gave up beating myself up about my past. We all have a past. We have all done amazing and wonderful things in our past. We have also all made mistakes, bad choices, errors and such. Focusing on these things without learning from them, takes us to a place of sadness and sorrow. See the good, the beauty and lessons in every area! See what you have learned, how you have grown and where you are headed BECAUSE of your past!

I gave up judging myself. I gave up being envious of others. I gave up being jealous of others.I gave up not understanding, but fully excepting my patience. I gave up wanting what I don't need, just to be accepted. I am enough. There is always enough.

Most of the 'things' that I gave up, I didn't even know existed or that I had to give up. That's the thing. We get to a place of living our lives as robots, according to the survey's and what others tell us, teach us, and want us to learn. Some good, some bad. This all becomes a part of who we are, our daily lives, our thoughts and ideas. or so we think. This becomes a part of who we are until we have lose sight of the impact that it has on our daily lives, emotions, thoughts, and dreams. The love within. I unknowingly and yet willingly gave up all of these 'things' and began a Journey to nurture my true spirit and the love within. 

When we finally understand and release them, let them go, an enormous sense of weightlessness becomes us. A sense of Peace.  

Peace is Understanding the Only Love is Real